My dear little girl,
My chest ached thinking about you, my dear. Remember when we met last time, you jumped up arms around my neck. I held you tight kissing your cheeks still full of aroma of the milk I had fed you. I pulled your hair aside to kiss your forehead. However, this meeting was completely different. I couldn’t hold you in my arms because the terrible screen had separated you and me. Now, I sit here recounting these events, I deeply worry about you. I miss you so much. I love you so much. My dear little girl now has to confront all sorts of dangers alone. I spend each minute, each hour worry about you with such heavy heart but for my dear little girl, it would be much more terrifying experience.
The bruises on your body have cut through my heart. Looking at you thru the screen, when you fold your arms on your chest and said, "Mum! My chest is aching and I can’t breathe but you and dad must not worry – I am confident." I just wanted to scream, "Where’re your consciences, those heartless?" But I didn’t do that. I told myself, "No. Don’t waste it, not even a second. Just 20 short minutes, I must tell my dear daughter essential things." I swallowed my tear to pass on to you important messages. To me, it was an overwhelming task.
And then you told me to send whichever set of clothes that I like to see you wear for the court date. You want to groom yourself because of the respect you have for people. Your words make me realize that you’ve made it. You’ve grown up at a place most scary and harshest which is the prison. It was, more than ever, when I felt so proud of you. Time flied and 20 minutes had passed. You and I waves and blew our goodbye kisses. You turned around, moving slowly with each step frail and weak. I looked you walk away shattered my heart. How I worry so much about the savage and brutality as well as the unconscionable actions of Dinh Cong Chi, the warden of Long An Prison. Questions after questions came through my head. Why did he lie? Who was heartless enough to bash a girl to the point of unconsciousness? Were they prisoners? It doesn’t matter what they were they could not commit such brutal act toward a lovable girl like that. Why did he make me preparing a certification of my daughter well being? Was it his superior’s directive? This unreasonable pressure had caused me much more concern. My fear was rising, higher by the time, suffocated me.
On my journey home that day, my head was heavy to the point of explosion. The image of you, walked away slowly, in pain and your pains, all had rolled me in, tighter and tighter by the minute. When your dad was told of this how much pain he must endure! Your younger sibling said how they love you so much. Your sibling was very irritated.
My dear little girl! You know that I am not lonely. When I cry talking about you, my dear little girl, many people even though are far, very far away, are crying with me. Right now, I will try to do anything for you, even to scarify my life to achieve anything for you, even the smallest, I would not be hesitate nor I would regret it.
My dear little girl! Dad’s good daughter! Try your best, my dear! Dad and I will always love you, admire you and respect your choice. Dad and I always trust you.
Your dear mother.
Nhung Thi NGUYEN
Tâm Như gửi hôm Thứ Sáu, 03/05/2013
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